“Crawl, walk, and then run”
Courtesy NWSL/Harry Figiel
Stolen The Wire Epigraph
“Crawl, walk, and then run”
For those of you who haven’t seen The Wire, it is a British game show starring 5 comedians who complete a series of pointless tasks to please a tyrannical host. Tasks include “disappear the greatest number of dead bodies in abandoned row houses without getting caught”, “set up a warrantless wiretap” and “have the longest phone conversation about selling drugs without saying the words ‘sell’, ‘buy’, ‘drugs’, ‘money’, or ‘pepperoni’”.
Racing took home all three points in a rather dull and uninteresting match on Sunday evening in Chicago. It was a “grind it out” type match where Racing is usually on the opposite side. Elements and a rain delay will be in Chicago’s boatload of excuses, but the truth is that they are barely an NWSL team without Mal Swanson. You play the hand you are dealt however if you are Racing, you move on to the international break with a decent number of points though 3 matches.
Let’s talk about points for a minute. I think Racing will need around 33-35 points to make the playoffs. The easiest way to get there is to win all of their remaining home matches, but that isn’t going to happen. Let’s take Orlando, Kansas City, and Washington off the table. That leaves 27 points at home in the “available” category. Racing won’t win all of those, but let’s say they get 21 at home, then that would be one more point than they won at home last season. That leaves12-14 points that they’ll need to scrape on the road. Chicago is a good start, but (you guessed it) Chicago was their only road win last season so winning this one didn’t position them any better than last season. It wasn’t a “must-win” in the usual sense, but it was a “hold serve” win in my opinion.
Even though Clay Davis is a deplorable con artist/politician (not sure the distinction between those two things needed a /) he does give good advice here. Racing crawled to a victory. A point against Washington at the Thunder match would be a nice “walk”. Then maybe they can run.
Post-Match Moment of Match
Bev commented during the post-match media availability that she and other members of the staff played UNO to pass the time during the weather delay. She also stated that she wasn’t very good. I suggest that she step up her UNO game before her kids get much older. You don’t want to start off on the wrong foot in the board/card game battle with your children. Being better at something than your parent in a rite of passage, so I never let my kids (or any kids) win at anything unless they earn it fair and square.
I did lose a Connect Four match to a 5-year-old recently. SHUT UP AND STOP LAUGHING! I won like 30 before he beat me. He somehow cheated, but I can’t figure out how. Anyway, do you think he remembers that? No, but I do. Bev, work on your UNO skills and keep those kids in their rightful place as long as you can.
Were the Announcers Good?
Aly Trost Martin was on the play-by-play and Lori Lindsey was on color. Interesting matches are easy to call, so the real trick is to be good on dull ones. Martin was solid. Lindsey was not my cup of tea.
Subsection: How was their “Louisville”?
Louisvillians are persnickety on the pronunciation of their beloved hometown. I will be monitoring the broadcaster’s commitment to getting it right.
Martin: Smooth…Lou-uh-vul…I am a two-syllable guy, but I mumble and talk fast. Standard ‘correct’ announcer pronunciation.
Lindey: Slightly labored…Lou-wuh-vul…This is the danger of the three-syllable variant. You let that slight French-ness come in on the middle syllable. Still only noticeable to the connoisseur.
My bigger beef with Lindsey was that her analysis was all over the place. 90 minutes is a long time to say interesting things and not repeat yourself. Lori did seem obsessed about the conditions and the delay. She kept mentioning it. Plus, she wasn’t consistent. Sometimes all long balls should be “verboten” in the wind, and then when they would come off, they were necessary. She kept talking about playing the ball on the ground. Really? On a wet and thick pitch? I think we can come up with better advise than “play it on the ground”. What she should have said is something like “tighten up your passing triangles when it is windy and the pitch is a slog. Work the ball by closing down the spaces between your teammates and get the ball to your best dribblers.” I am not auditioning. As I said above: talk too fast/mumbler.
What drove me a little more nuts, however, is that like quite a few former players who are broadcasters, she is a handwringer. I like Lianne Sanderson for Arsenal reasons, but she is also a good broadcaster. Maybe it is the British “stiff upper lip” thing, but she can describe what a player might be feeling without getting overly sympathetic. Lori Lindsey described a 2-hour rain delay as “emotionally and mentally taxing” which is something that I think serves nobody. The players in this league have real historical and present challenges. Don’t turn them into overly delicate flowers that can’t handle something any normal adult should be able to handle. I would classify a 2-hour delay as an irritating inconvenience, but definitely not “taxing”.
By all accounts, Bev instructed the players to relax during the delay and was prepared for the chance that they could have one. Lori also questioned Bev by suggesting that Racing might not have been prepared for a windy game in The Windy City. Racing and Chicago could have helped Lori out some by staging a more interesting match, but I might just mute it the next time Lori is on the broadcast.
What Chicago Fans Should Have Watched Instead
Even if you aren’t watching Daredevil: Born Again, you could watch this bottle episode (Episode 5: “With Interest”). I imagine that it will be the one that people watch again without rewatching the entire series. The series itself has some interesting themes, but mine is probably “It is a bad idea to let our monsters out of prison, (or never put them there in the first place).” I hope none of you are “Pro-Monster”, but I suspect you know plenty of people who are!
Better Match You Could Have Watched
I thought this match was an interesting one from start to finish even if it was 0-0 at half. Sanderson was on the ESPN call (always a plus) but there was a real chess match going on at times in this match. Jonas Eidevall wasn’t a rousing success at Arsenal nor was he an abject failure. I think he will do good things with the Wave this season, especially based on the cameos from the Wave’s teenagers. We already know Seb Hines is a good coach and Orlando carries the aura of a defending champion in that they never seemed to be too bothered by not being in control of the match at times because they know they will have the last laugh. Like I said, there are all types of interesting things going on here so give the 10-minute highlights a watch. This section might not feature often as I don’t actively seek out other NWSL matches to watch but this was a “goodun”.
TV Kit Rating
Kits look one way up close and another way on the screen. I reassess the opposition kit each away match.
Still pretty bad on the screen. Elizabeth and I had it ranked next to last. No need to reassess more. 3/10
Series to Binge Instead of Watching Pointless International Friendlies
I hate international breaks because I don’t like international football or any flag-based competitions for that matter. You could spend your leisure time watching something much more entertaining.
I feel like this is one that most people will get around to seeing at some point based on word of mouth. If you like what the English call “light entertainment,” this whodunnit should be right up your alley. The journey is better than the destination in my opinion, but don’t let that stop you and isn’t that the point of a streaming series anyway?
Isiah Whitlock, Jr. is in this too (Clay Davis from The Wire). You’ll have to watch to see if he repeats his signature one-word catch phrase.
Lightning in a Bottle-O-Meter
Whenever Racing wins a match, I will rate how much of it was down to catching lightning in a bottle versus Racing just doing the things they do well.
By getting a relatively early lead, Racing cruised to a pretty uneventful win. The Stars are a shell of themselves without Mal Swanson. They should probably try to do something about that. Racing played within themselves once they got the lead and were much closer to increasing their lead versus Chicago pulling back one. Even though there was actual lightning in the area Racing didn’t have to catch any to win. 1/5
“Don’t you know who owns the weather, rain or shine?”
“Looking for Atlantis”/Jordan: The Comeback/1990
Talking and complaining about the weather is something we all do, but we obliviously can do nothing about it. We just have to deal with the consequences. Weather is a great tester of our preparedness and adaptability. Racing showed a good deal of both in the match on Sunday. I haven’t changed my forecast on them because I didn’t expect all of the days to be cloudy. However, I do expect more of them to be, so we should enjoy the metaphorically sunny ones.
“Lesson One: Child don’t waste it”: While it was a match that nobody should punish themselves by rewatching, there are some really good takeaways. The rookies put in some good shifts, especially Hase. I really don’t mind the Hase-Petersen-Wright-Milliet lineup. They all had rounded FotMob player ratings of 8. Petersen needs to play often because she is good at ball placement on in-swinging corners. As long as Petersen remains effective at center back, Hase may have left back locked down. O’Kane was an effective dribbler without getting herself into the tight spots that Fischer and DeMelo often find themselves in without an exit strategy. Swebs will score at some point, but I think she showed more of her “fox in the box” type skills in this match. I can’t wait for the first one to go in to see if it opens the floodgates. The rookies didn’t waste their opportunities. The kids are alright.
“Lesson Two: The world’s your cherry. But tomorrow? Maybe not.”: Nothing in the performance would make me rethink anything I said on All for XI. I learned zilch on Racing’s style and tactics in this match. The elements and the opponent mean that this a game film only good for individual players sessions. I don’t think Racing will kid themselves about the performance. They will never say is publicly, but their opponent was weak and ripe for the picking.
“Lesson Three: Come on and taste it.” That doesn’t mean that we (players and fans) shouldn’t enjoy it. If wins are as rare a fruit as I expect them to be this season, then every bite should be savored. There were some really fine individual efforts in the match and every player has a moment to be proud of. One of my favorite moments was seeing Sonis, who is usually a starter and has little that she needs to prove, hustle to win a late corner on a ball that I see way too many players in this league treat as a lost cause. Hase made two notebook worthy defensive plays. Sears took a chance in the wind and while it was the deflection that caused Naeher the problem, it is the confidence you like to see. Flint again was marvelous, but that has become the norm.
Elizabeth’s Thoughts
I’ll say the obvious - this line-up was a different team. Even the veterans played differently. Maybe it was the wind, or maybe it was the physicality of the match. Lo’s bloody nose! Flint’s steal to Sears for a Ramen-noodle-instant goal! Even the sides of the goals saw some action between Sears’ goal attempt and players piling up to get the ball. Weber has found her role on the team and knows how to keep up with the speed of the NWSL.
This team is alive! (“…like toys, when your back is turned.” Tracy Morgan as Tracy Jordan on 30 Rock)
