The One with a Duke
It was a Friendly, meaning the match wasn’t on the usual schedule (and the Man of the Match vote didn’t show up in my Lou City app, not that I’m bitter or anything). It still drew over 9,200 fans to Lynn Family stadium on a misty Saturday evening. We were treated to an exciting 1-0 win over Trinidad & Tobago, whose keeper singlehandedly kept the score from being 5-0. Since none of the official sources for soccer stats take notes on matches like this, I must rely on my own very excellent, always accurate memory to recall the details of the match. Lou City had 76 shots on goal, and that T&T keeper saved 75 of them. Darn him and his cat-like reflexes. If Lou City didn’t already have three fantastic keepers competing for playing time, I would say let’s move that man to Louisville and set him up in a nice house in the Highlands so he can help us shutdown those pesky Rowdies and Batteries who feed their players pasta and growth hormones three meals a day.
The Friendly also meant that Coach Simon Bird could sub as many players as he wanted, and so players without many (or any) minutes this season put on a show. First, we got to see Cam Duke showcase his skills and put one in the back of the net off a beautiful pass from Ray Serrano. Serrano (with a new haircut, I might add) also helped Duke get the crowd up for the celebration with an encouraging push akin to a mama bird pushing a baby bird out of the nest to take flight for the first time. Cam proceeded with the confidence of a young Robin. Batman’s assistant, Robin, not the bird. He very humbly flapped his arms and the crowd responded accordingly.
The last ten minutes or so saw the appearance of Marty Wicinski, Cooper Conley, and Thomas Weinrich, the latter of which earned himself a yellow card in under two minutes of play. (He really wanted his name on that stat sheet!) These three are collectively aged maybe 30 years and made me reach for my walker before realizing that I don’t use a walker but wow am I old. The young whippersnappers were full of energy and height, and Conley almost certainly would have scored a goal if the match had lasted another three minutes.
Thank you, Trinity & Tobago, for making the journey to Louisville, KY. We hope that you will visit us again but maybe leave that keeper at home next time.
Warm-ups start off as usual, with the exception of the fierce stares of judgement coming from the Street Clothes Gang. “No really, act like we’re not here. We’re not even really watching. Don’t be nervous.”
Warm-ups continue, unhindered by the menacing onlookers.
Carlos Moguel, Jr, is sent to ask Kyle & friends if they could just chill a bit. He slips Aiden McFadden a twenty and tells him to buy the fellas a beer on him.
Coach puts the boys to work cleaning up warm-up balls. Somebody get Kyle a scrunchie so that he can temporarily tame all those curls.
Kyle Adams does one more lap to ensure the fear of God is appropriately instilled in each player and then yells at the center ref (for good measure) before exiting the pitch and letting everyone get back to warm-ups.
Hugo Fauroux - who still has Adams convinced that he doesn’t speak English (or read body language) very well - sends a sly smile to a friend in the crowd. “Kyle ne me fait pas peur,” which translates to “Your hair looks great today, Kyle.”
After Kyle is away, the mice proceed to play. Josh Jones shows off a new move he’s been practicing. (Wait, isn’t he supposed to be injured?)
Players enter the pitch, starting with the kids’ table, who have folding chairs for their bench. The padded kind, so it’s good. They’re fully equipped with pennies, water bottles, and crayons.
Captain Sean Totsch carries the team banner for trading with Trinidad and Tobago. When Lou City realizes that T&T didn’t bring a banner, they quickly switch out the normal size one for a postcard size. Sean explains that this will fit better into their luggage for the flight home.
Good looking line-up in the new drip, the Lightning Kit.
In the line-up, Jansen Wilson sends love into the stands.
Similarly, Evan Davila sends lots of love and positive vibes to the kids who tried to high-five him on the walk in.
Before the team huddle, Serrano bets Quenzi Huerman that Kyle Adams will come out of the stands to fuss at the refs before the match ends.
This is where I normally drop a picture of Kyle Adams pumping up the players (i.e. spewing profanities) but without Adams, Manny Perez was left holding his spot but begging anyone else to trade places. “I’ll do your laundry for a week, kid.” No takers.
Fans were excited to get the party started and keep it going.
Keeping with tradition, an early pass is made in my direction by Cam Duke. Luckily, Jansen Wilson is ready to swoop in to retrieve it.
Wilson makes an early run at the goal to scope out the keeper and his keeping skills.
No Dayes, Jones, or Adams means more headers up for grabs. Save some for the rest of us, Totsch!
After the header, Totsch needs a minute to re-tuck. He instructs Evan Davila to “take a picture, it’ll last longer.”
Duke asks again if I would like to get in the game or if I’ve seen Jansen around.
Nothing offends Quenzi Huerman quite like sneaking up on him when he’s running towards the goal. Except maybe getting in his way when he’s running his cool down drill after the match.
Evan Davila helping out the back line with a header of his own. The ball saw Evan coming and bounced the other way.
Tola Showunmi had 45 of the 99 Lou City shots on goal. For this run, he was flanked by some other Men in Black.
Manny sends a cross to nobody in particular but is still processing the news that Tola’s favorite movie is La La Land.
Dia, on the other hand, enjoyed La La Land but is bringing Moulin Rouge! to the next guys’ movie night.
Fauroux tells the guys to stop fighting about movies because T&T is finally trying to score.
Manny kicks the ball out of play so that he and Fauroux can continue arguing over movies.
Speaking of hard-to-pick favorites, let’s enjoy some pictures of our keepers.
Quenzi is outraged at nothing in particular again. Oh wait, it’s me. Sorry, Quenzi!
Serrano and Duke make a practice run on goal.
No Dayes, Jones, or Adams, means someone needs to pick up the slack on splits. Actually, wait. This must be a Sean Totsch original.
Now back to that Serrano-Duke magic. Serrano does some fancy foot work. Duke gets free. The rest is history. Or trivia. “This Lou City player is the only one to score a goal against a National team.” Who is Cam Duke? Let’s check out his shot.
And that victory celebration…
Cam tries to engage the crowd like a maestro warming up the horn section. More tuba! I need more tuba! Who’s got the cow bell?
Serrano decides to give Cam some time off and takes a run at the goal himself, only to be tackled by several Tobaggans who are yelling for a hand/ elbow/ tummy ball.
Super Davila Bros in action.
Manny Perez looking at the ball like he’s looking at the last chocolate chip at My Favorite Muffin.
Here we go. The quiet before the Jake Morris storm.
Here come the subs. Coach looks pretty pleased with himself, as he should.
Muk trying to get Captain Davila’s attention for a pass.
He decides to take it away from T&T instead.
The run on goal ends with the T&T keeper peaking around the corner like he’s looking for the boogeyman.
Not a lot of drama in this Friendly, but Serrano remembers his bet with Huerman and tries to entice Kyle Adams to come help him fuss at the ref.
The youngsters have come in, starting with Wicinski and Conley. Marty (Wisinski) summoned the other Lou City players forward to come help, reminding them (with his eyes) that these were his first few minutes playing for Lou City.
Gleadle is happy to help the newbies, and tells them to treat him like women’s sports, and “just watch.”
Another contender for headers, Marty enters the chat.
T&T player, who does not watch women’s sports or believe in headers, rolls his eyes.
Chest bumps on chest bumps on chin bumps and T&T is brought to tears.
Taylor’s sibling jealousy kicks in - he hasn’t had any chest bumps this match - and he demands that Evan be sent to his room. Or at least called for a foul.
While the Davila brothers are fighting, Marty Wisinski sets out to prove himself “ready” for the USL Championship league [Lou City Abs Club].
Conley would also like to audition for the USL Championship League [Lou City hair club]. Although both candidates look promising, They are entirely too young for the USL Championship League [secret clubs].
Gleadle is ready to start the next lesson for the newbies - all eyes on him for a dance contest.
Finally, Evan Davila is sent “to his room” [the bench] and he handles it with the grace of a ballerina. A ballerina who is in the middle of a piece and does not want to be taken off the stage. He makes Weinrich promise to get a yellow card in his honor. No problem.
One last attempt to get Kyle Adams to storm the pitch like a streaker at an NFL game in New Jersey, Taylor Davila fusses at the ref. Turns out Adams has family in town and is now on his best behavior.
Kevon Lambert, who has quietly defended the goal for the better part of the 2nd half, asks the T&T keeper if he has a firm grasp on that ball because otherwise he would like to kick it in the goal please? Keeper says he has had enough, please and thank you.
The perfect walk-off picture doesn’t exis-
