The One with the Mustaches
I guess that I have been sleeping on the mustache trend because when I made a moustache comment to my daughter yesterday, she gave me the same look that she gives me when I proudly remind her that I am not on Tik Tok because I am too busy for such nonsense. I have been giving all the credit to Benson Boone but does this trend actually trace back to Ted Lasso? Is Jason Sudeikis somehow hotter with the mustache? Nah. Maybe.
Regardless, I am seeing them everywhere now and like Ted Lasso, they are impossible to ignore. Unlike Ted Lasso, they are not for everyone. I do enjoy silently enjoying people’s appearances so add moustaches to the list of things that I will be judging when I scroll on Instagram. (I have time for Instagram, just not Tik Tok, these are two totally different things.)
But back to soccer. Could a mustache make you a better soccer player? How about a beard? Michael has said that he’s not going to shave his beard until Lou City wins five matches in a row. I told him he might be able to play Santa this Christmas if he sticks with this. We are getting a little comfy with these ties, especially when coming off a 5-4 loss. Maybe the team should get together and agree that they are going to grow facial hair and see what that does to their winningness. As always, I’m here to do the calendar whenever they are ready.
This match, we saw Hugo Faroux in goal and while I am 110% here for it, I am 110% here for Danny and Ryan as well. I actually love the rotation and the competition. They all support each other and really what else could we ask for as a team?
The warm-ups reminded us why we BELIEVE in this team and just how hard they work to bring the trophies, cups, frisbees, and other hardware to Lynn Family stadium.
I love a good flyover as much as the next person but having recently watched Breaking Bad for the first time (remember, I am late to trends) and also the news, seeing two planes in the sky at the same time puts me on high alert. Imagine my horror when I saw the beautiful formation of 8 heading towards the stadium AND another plane literally inches away from them (through my lens). Pure panic. But as usual, my hypervigilance and worry kicked in to ensure that they would not crash. Also probably air traffic control.
Flyover pictures, now that we’re all relaxed enough to enjoy them.
Time for a dad joke from Danny Faundez. It’s for Tola but he knows the youngsters are listening in.
“Hey Tola, why did the pilot hang a car air freshener in the cockpit?”
“Danny, I’m trying to stay focused on the mat-”
“Because it helps with descent.”
“I wish I never learned English.”
Meanwhile, Evan Davila appears to be completing a shady transaction with Manny Perez, confident that the smoke from the fireworks is providing cover. Manny is checking the density of the smoke before handing over the goods.
That second round of smoke provides enough cover for a wardrobe change, if needed. In fact, they could have completely changed out players and we would be none the wiser. Who's to say that’s not the cast of Ted Lasso out there?
Almost as soon as the smoke clears, we see a fantastic save from Hugo. Turns out he is going to have a busy night.
Seems like a good opportunity to kick off a Hugo Appreciation Gallery. Here we go.
Hugo was on high alert all match but the backline was ready to help. With Dayes, Jones, and Lambert all unavailable (US U-20 team, surgery, Target run respectively), Aiden McFadden filled the 3rd spot on the back three. He handled it the way he does most things - with enthusiasm and zeal and raw talent. The center ref, who called nothing all night, gave him a talking to akin to a mama bear warning her baby bear not to eat poison ivy. Aiden pleaded his case to the ref but oh look, here comes daddy bear.
But no worries, daddy bear fusses at everybody. Aiden promises to only foul when the ref isn’t watching and the ref promises to stop watching Aiden or anyone else on the pitch. Poor big brother bear Sean Totsch just wants the fussing to end so that he can go back to watching his cartoons.
With the all-clear, Mukwelle Akale runs down the pitch and humiliates the San Antonio keeper by sneaking a goal between his legs. I forget which spice this is. Rosemary or something? I’ve been told it’s actually called a nutella. Looked pretty cool either way.
If you think the scoring looked cool, check out his celebration gallery.
Time for some Super Davila Bros. This was the first match in my (limited, selective) memory where the Younger played more minutes than the Elder. I heard something about Taylor’s arthritis acting up.
You know who never has to deal with arthritis? Mr. Fantastic.
Speaking of fantastic, Davila the Younger is showing us a nice alternative to mustaches and also appears to be growing out his curls. Excellent! Sorry I forgot my segue. Fantastic!
Also growing out his hair in a more natural way that also helps to keep the sweat out of his eyes is McFadden.
Fun fact about me, I am often mistaken for being younger than I actually am (29). Evidently I can also pass for ball-girl age because Chris Donovan was all ready to hand me the ball when another one came onto the pitch.
It’s also possible that I was just sitting where a ball girl would be sitting because wow did I get some close-up pictures of McFadden throwing the ball in. No complaints.
You thought I was done talking about the backline but no. Our 2025 defender of the year Kyle Adams was knocking over San Antonio players like bowling pins.
You know who managed to stay on their feet the entire match? The fans in the Estopinal End! I like to think it was because of the pure energy in the stadium but also there are no seats there. Let’s see what pictures I managed to capture of the fans including the ringleaders Lenny Garcia and Chris Wright.
More on that backline. Those boys were so in sync they could’ve managed a front or backstreet. Didn’t matter if they were facing two different or just one direction.
Also helping the backline as always was Jake Morris, but he’s better known for his rockets these days. Here we see him eyeing the goal and mentally measuring the distance.
Time to start the second half! While waiting for the refs to find a ball, Donovan explains to Davila that he grew up playing soccer in the hills and so he really likes the flat pitch at Lynn Family.
Adams denying San Antonio another shot at the goal in his typical no-nonsense manner.
No one: “I had almost forgotten about that 5-4 loss to Tampa last week”
But in case the players wondered if the fans were still hung up on it, here’s a sign. Also pretty brutal header by Davila the Meaner.
Here we go, our favorite thing from that Tampa match that we’ve all forgotten about, another rocket from Morris. The SA keeper had the insanely good fortune of being in the exact right place to catch the shot but I bet he has a massive chest bruise today.
What do you think, Adams, how about that shot from Morris?
Adams (as Jake Peralta from Brooklyn 99): Okay okay okay okay okay yeah but would’ve been better if it had gone in.
Adams tries to set up Morris (or anyone really) with a killer header near the SA net but everyone was in view-mode only.
Some words were exchanged, some fouls were committed, and finally the ref found his yellow card. Serrano gave a “that’s right boys” to his new BFFs from San Antonio. He has that moustache energy going for him.
Trying to draw his own yellow card, this player is caught faking an injury, or maybe he just needs a diaper change.
Tola Showunmi appears to get an elbow on the ball but that’s enough to make the SA keeper jump to new heights. Seemed a little overkill to me but what do I know. Kudos on that vertical, orange.
Even with that vertical in his toolkit, the SA Keeper missed the ball and it ended up practically in his net but not. I think his teammate squealed at the ball and scared it off. Should have been the match winner for Lou City.
Also in the SA toolkit evidently is eye poking. Tostch didn’t stand a chance.
As the game gets ready to wrap, the heat was getting to everyone. For a minute, Tola thought he was back in 3rd grade playing dodge ball at recess.
One more go at the goal? Let’s do it. Lou City only had 30% possession in the 2nd half and 20 of that 30%, or 2/3, about 30 minutes, was in the last five minutes of the match. Trouble with the math? Ask Evan Davila to explain it.
Game ended in a 1-1 draw but the pictures don’t end here! Enjoy the post-match pictures and some other faves that I didn’t write about because they didn’t include enough facial hair. Or I just ran out of energy. It’s the heat!
