*Jansen Wilson celebrates his goal by sliding to his knees and most certainly getting the grass equivalent of carpet burn.*

Between the planes, rain, and autographs, this match kept me on my very cold toes for over two hours. I was so afraid that I’d miss a good picture or possibly lose my hearing that I finally gave up trying to get pictures of all the planes. You’ll find a few sprinkled throughout because they were still pretty cool. One plane apparently smuggled some unauthorized fireworks aboard and then dropped them during their flyover of the stadium and it wasn’t at all scary.

It was probably for the best that we went 96 minutes without anyone scoring because when Lou City did finally find the net, I knew it was Jansen Wilson but forgot it was Jansen Wilson and ended up with mostly pictures of Jake Morris celebrating because he did really try to own it. It was so much amazing celebration for an assist and the entire stadium of fans plus some planes were ready to join him. We had 96 minutes of pent-up anxiety that we just had to get out.

So check out lots of pictures of nothing and then an infinity number of pictures of celebrating and don’t miss Evan Davila’s new name and of course series continuations. (Given the weather, sadly no new members of the Abs Club this week.)

Some pre-match snapshots to get us in the mood for Derby - Gallery

Pre-match huddle pre-talk by back-up Captain Davila the Elder, seen here next to little Bro with his new haircut. When asked about said haircut, Evan shared that it was a new look to represent his renewed strength and focus. He called it a “meaner” look and ladies and gentlemen say goodbye to Davila the Younger…

*And say hello to Davila the Meaner. He’s about ready to go out there and earn himself a Man of the Match award.*

*Tola just learned about the fireworks after the match!*

Testing out his new nickname, Davila the Meaner sets a small fire behind Brandon Dayes and then distracts him with a dad joke. “Hey Brandon, did you see my new pen? It can write under water. It can write other words, too.” Brandon is not amused.

*Zach Duncan is working on his impression of Darrell Hammond doing an impression of Bill Clinton.*

*New formation for the moment of pause at the beginning of the match. Let’s get this new labor agreement signed already and start taking care of our players!*

*Can’t go a single match without an opposing player trying to swipe one of our jerseys. Tola is prepared this time, wearing two layers of jerseys.*

Manny surprises even himself with his weaving in and out of players. This is evidently why they call him “Weaver” in the locker room, and not because of the matching sweaters that he knit for the team for Christmas.

Adams wants to know why he’s in position for a corner kick and no one from Jacksonville has wrapped themselves around him yet like one of those bacon-wrapped appetizers? Oh yeah, they’re an expansion team, still learning that move.

*Tola bounces a shot off this guy’s ego but it goes wide of the net.*

*Disappointed on missing out on the planes with the fireworks - or maybe his goal attempt - Tola does the classic hands on your head for a moment of reflection.*

Don’t worry, Tola, and anyone else who missed the match and/or Air Show, I captured some shots of the F14, G6, K9, and V8 planes that flew overhead and/or are imaginary because I didn’t study planes in school. I was too busy playing with Barbies.

*Don’t worry, Carlos Moguel, Jr., you can still find Barbies in most toy stores and even Target! You don’t have to miss out!*

Oh sorry, you were upset about missing that header not about Barbies? Headers are super tough, so don’t beat yourself up. Coach Simon is here for that. (JK, Coach is the nicest person you will ever meet and evidently someone must’ve used AI on this photo to make him look angry because he usually doesn’t look like that. No more doctoring or doctor photos, okay y'all? We’ve had enough of those.)

*Serrano has popped his collar and is making a run for the goal when Trip McFoulington juts out his leg in a very ladylike fashion.*

*Meanwhile a yellow card is earned for some other unsportsmanlike conduct and the guilty party plays it off by pretending to tie his shoe. From the side.*

How about a quick throw in Gallery? Sure, let’s do it.

*A second attempt is made on the life of Tola’s jersey but it holds tight.*

Apropos of nothing, here’s a quick gallery of pictures from the first half that I really liked.

*We all know Dayes’ vertical is trampoline height but let’s not sleep on Manny. He can weave in the air as easily as he can on earth and on his knitting couch.*

Evan and Tola decide to take the ball down the pitch in tandem. Or maybe it’s a three-legged dash? It’s one of those partner games you play in Elementary school that would be completely awkward to play as adult, unless of course you’re playing soccer.

*The pitch was certainly slick and several players landed on the ground during the match. Evan spends his time on the ground trying to decide who to be mad at for his fall.*

*Personally, I think he should be mad at this guy for sneaking up on him like a Monday sneaks us on up while we’re just trying to relax and write about some cool soccer pictures.*

Back from halftime, we pause for another reminder that the players need a new contract. One of these times, they’re going to decide not to play, and the owners are going to have an angry mob of fans to contend with.

*A fan asks Tola for directions to the stand that sells cotton candy.*

*Adams takes the opportunity to tell Neville that Man U sucks worse than Tottenham.*

Jake Morris’s shot goes wide and it’s started raining again so Jake takes a minute to fix his hair. If his Aveda rosemary mint smooth infusion curl cream rinses out, he’ll have to leave the match early.

Serrano’s header starts a series of plays that put the Jax Keeper on the ground.

*Akale gives me a heads up that I should start pointing my camera at the Keeper cause he’s going down again. Thanks, appreciate you!*

First, a nice series of shots that should’ve gone it.

Not to give him too much real estate or picture him with one of his thirteen “injuries,” here’s a super flattering pic of a save that wasn’t really a save because Lou City just kicked it into the stands for fun.

*Here’s another picture this Jax player will probably not want to use for his Hinge profile pic.*

Time for some more throw-ins to help me meet my quota for Kyle Adams’ pictures this week (I think he’s on to me and has started hiding behind other players when he sees my camera)