The One with the Last-minute Treat

Eyes on the prize, Tola Showunmi is planning his move towards the goal.

It was a chilly night - Halloween Eve. And with the suspense that built up through the match into two extra periods, Ed Sheeran wasn’t the only one with the shivers. [Just writing about that song gives Michael the shivers because he hates it for no reason (ed. reason: I have heard the song) except that maybe because I insist on singing along..]

It was so much fun to see children and adults in costumes. A tall, slender man dressed as a referee took the pitch, but it was clearly just a costume. He did have the yellow card accessory pack, but he didn’t really sell us on his bit because he didn’t even try to referee the match. He just ran up and down the pitch looking for candy. Several times, Lou City players asked him if he was lost and could they help him find his parents, but he just showed them his yellow card. Hopefully he got home safely last night and got all the eggs and toilet paper cleaned off his car.

Let’s take a look at some of the action on the pitch that helped Lou City advance in the playoffs.

Since we don’t want to strain any muscles, let’s spend some time warming up with our favorites.

Yes, it’s a playoff match, but times are tough and we haven’t reordered the full-size pennants in a minute. Google tells me that these are technically called friendship pennants and wait, why didn’t Pittsburgh bring one for us? Don’t they want to be friends? Kyle Adams rethinks giving away the Lou City pennant and maybe selling it on ebay.

I am pleased to welcome back the “Kyle fusses” series, probably my favorite of all the serieses that I’ve ever seriezed. There was a lot of fussing needed in this match because as I eluded to early in this article, the referee was a moron.

Babacar Niang asks if the referee was open to maybe calling some fouls during this match and Kyle confirms that the ref is, in fact, a wanker.

Hoping to maybe get a replacement ref, Aiden McFadden tries to recruit someone from the crowd. “Hey you, can you spell soccer? Great, come on out!”

The Riverhounds’ Robbie Mertz tries not the laugh as the ref asks him for a towel to wipe the flop sweat off his face.

Ever see one of those videos of the cats watching the little red dot move across the floor?

Float like a butterfly…but the enemy of the butterfly is the net, so…yeah, it didn’t go in. Still a beautiful shot from Manny.

Kyle Adams taking the ball down the pitch but is interrupted by an ad reminding him to vote on Tuesday.

I guess they left their costumes at home, but here’s a Gallery of the Super Davila Bros. I don’t have to tell you my thoughts on who played the role of Bowser.

Such a huge fan of last night’s referees. Actually I don’t totally hate this shot.

Ray Serrano appeals to the ref to call some fouls, citing his extensive experience including a recent hat trick. The ref finally confesses that he’s not a real ref, and points to his seats in Section 206. [I never do this, but I am going to say something nice about a player on the opposing team. No really. Not a trick. I was so impressed with how Pittsburgh’s captain gently encouraged Ray to save his breath (and save himself a yellow card). Hats off to this young man.]

Appealing to the fan-dressed-as a-ref are: Ray Serrano, Amadou Dia, Aiden DeLee McFadden, and Captain Kyle Adams.

After giving up on any semblance of a “fair” match, Lou City decides to be physical and makes a few runs on the goal. During this particular attack, McFadden is disappointed to learn that his cat ears must’ve fallen off.

Coach tells McFadden to calm down, he still has his Batman mask, and fans would rather see him dressed like that anyway.

Did someone say Batman? Where? Wait, Batman doesn’t really fly, does he?

Regardless, McFadden decides to pout over the loss of his ears. Of course the ref is super accommodating.

(You might think that Aiden is only on the ground because he was shoved there, but surely not. No foul was called. But let’s check the tapes.)

Tapes: He was pushed.

Ref:

Tapes: That was a foul, he was dribbling the ball with his back turned to the opponent and I’m pretty sure that’s a foul.

Ref:

Tapes: Fine. I’ll go back to my VHS player.

Let’s take a moment to welcome back Jansen Wilson! We’ve missed his energy and speed! Even the ball can’t keep up.

Putting this out there now as proof that Duncan can be upright if he’s not thrown to the pitch.

Kevon Lambert going as a Bangle this year because he’s walking like an Egyptian.

Grounded again. Must’ve been speeding in the Batmobile.

Getting ready for a free kick but someone at the back of the class is chewing gum so now ref is paying attention. Fantastic job.

Second game in a row meaning it’s officially a “series” - Flat Dunco. Finally, the ref called a foul. Hahaha just kidding, no foul.

Ball dropping out of the sky like Libery Biberty means an awesome header from Duncan but no goal.

So much fun to watch our national team star take these old men to school.

Exhibit A in the case in favor of the officials not calling fouls. Don’t call this throw to the ground, then we won’t be mad when he doesn’t call the one in thirty seconds that ends with a Lou City goal.

Wilson keeps the ball in play and gets in back in range of the goal.

After 105 + 2 minutes, we finally see our first goal! Good things come to those who wait 107 minutes evidently.

Time to celebrate at the other team’s expense. If I wasn’t overcome with joy for Tola I might have felt bad for the Riverhounds. Their defense was impressive but the Boys in Purple/ Black finally wore them down.

In case anyone missed it, let’s ask Ryan Schewe if he knows what the score is.

What’s this? Another flat Dunco? I think this one actually drew a yellow card for Oscar the Grouch.

How much time is left? Yes, definitely need a few more minutes down here to catch my breath.

I got my own nutmeg! It’s a photo of a save, through the legs, so a photosavmeg? Photomeg? But I feel like nut is wrong part of the word to drop here… Anyway, fantastic job by Schewe all night.