The One with The Mystery Goal
Manny Perez deflects a would-be goal while Danny Faundez readies himself for a potential bounce back.
What an exciting night! First, we had a phantom goal that the TV broadcasters credited to Brandon Dayes, unbeknownst to all of us at Lynn Family Stadium. They even updated their little scoreboard on the screen to show Lou City 1- Fort Wayne 0. Wrong! They corrected themselves in time for the first real goal by Lou City. (I think maybe Fort Wayne FC scored in there somewhere too.) Zach Duncan found the net in the most inelegant way possible, but it was still a thing of beauty.
Then we had to wait what seems like hours for a second goal. Clearly we should’ve sent Serrano in sooner because he had one in his pocket the entire time. Actually, Manny Perez had the goal ready and waiting for Ray. Manny was dynamic all night (he had a save, if only non-Keepers could get that added to their stat sheet), and set up the goal for Ray with a perfect cross. 2-1, City!
What happens next is something that will be talked about for seasons to come. Jansen Wilson has a free kick that ended up in the back of the net. Did it hit someone or something along the way? We may never know. If it did take a deflection, would it have gone in nonetheless? Another unsolved mystery. Ok, yes, it was probably going in, but having Kyle Adams go up for a header, then dramatically land off the pitch next to the goal…well let’s just say Adams earned that goal and the Oscar. (Technically, he did not claim the goal, but everyone who has rewatched the footage 28 times and has pictures of the goal on her camera thinks that some of Kyle’s curls probably made contact.)
Enjoy a replay of the match in pictures and maybe some fiction because I have an active imagination.
You know I love to start with the warm-up gallery because there’s usually cool new warm-up jerseys or we get to see players that we don’t see often enough. Occasionally players will warm up in off positions (Davila the Meaner was in Goal for a bit yesterday). Sometimes the Street Clothes players will also make an appearance and surprise us with some expected fits or new haircuts. (I almost didn’t recognize Sean Totsch with his shirt untucked.) Enjoy this “behinds the scenes” look at warm-ups that happened way out in the open.
Normally I will only accept applications to the Abs Club and Thigh Society during the match, but there was a petition to start a new club that I believe was inspired by my friend Felice and her love of trucks. But I think Meghan Trainor covered this topic well enough for all of us in 2014 (no treble).
Troutman realizes that he forgot his mom’s birthday. Again. And she really wanted one of those Stanley cups with her name on it, and those take extra time for shipping. Did she want jade green or olive green? Oh man, he is going to be in big trouble.
Players line up on the pitch so you know what that means - time for some dad jokes! Hey Brandon, why can’t dinosaurs play soccer? Because they’re dead!”
Ladies and gentlemen, may I present, the phantom goal. I was not fooled like the TV broadcasters because I can read Adams’ body language. Good thing I can’t read the Keeper’s body language because his fetal position could imply that he gave up a goal.
I can, however, read the Keeper’s jersey size and wow I didn’t know they came in 3Xl. That is one sturdy Keeper. Might be hard to get anything past him tonigh- - -
Never mind. Zach made that actually look pretty easy. Painful, but easy.
Celebrating is much more fun.
Welcome back, Quenzi Huerman! He is making friends with this wrestler wannabe from Fort Wayne. They had a nice little give-and-take before redirecting their focus to the ball.
Quick pause to shout-out the over-the-top effort by our #9, earning his #9. As much as I wanted to see Tola play for a bit, I see why Coach couldn’t take out Donovan. He was Energizer Bunny and just did. not. slow. down.
Adams shows Dayes the proper, New Zealand way to nail a header: always remember to tuck your thumbs. Dayes takes note.
Seems like a good time for a shout out to Kyle Adam’s head for doing some heavy lifting this match and always. I’m not talking about the headers. Gotta be tough carrying around all those curls.
Huerman’s wrestling buddy is back, kicking up the grass on the pitch, getting all in my face. You know who will have something to say about this?
That’s right, it’s the Grounds Crew. You always think they’re watching the game but they are most certainly eyeballing the opposing players who are not respecting The Pitch. That truck carries grass seed and bodies, people.
Somebody get these gentlemen some sunnies! Clearly we didn’t win the coin toss or choose where to attack/ defend while the sun set.
You know when you’re playing on your phone at work and then here comes the boss? Pretend like you workin’.
Working hard, boss. Emailing you that TPS report right now.
You know who worked hard all match? Danny Faundez. I love having him at the goal and wish we had three goals to defend so that we could get Faundez, Fauroux, and Troutman out there at the same time. When we get to see Danny, I watch the ferocity with which he stands guard.
A really weak yellow card prompted this match’s “Kyle has a friendly talk with the ref” which is really giving more “You are gonna get such a talking to…” so watch me pull at that thread in minute.
Speaking of weak - Oh em GEEE did I get a card too?
Fort Wayne and Lebron James line up to protect their goal among other things.
In the most optical of all illusions, the ball appears like it is going into the net but does not go into the net.
Before we break for the half, let’s look at some fans. Peek-a-boo, I see you! (Download by clicking on the image or opening it in a new window. Always easy and free! Thank you all for being so photogenic.)
During the break, in the locker room, Coach Simon rallied the players and talked them up. Throughout the match, on the pitch, Captain Adams prefers the 1×1, real-time feedback. I call this gallery the “Kyle Adams gives players a Talking To.” Notice this is not limited to Lou City players. Or even players. You think this is Coach saying “great match” but nope, he’s getting a talking to.
You know who does not need a talking-to but more likely a raise? This hard-working lady. Look at her balancing all that cotton candy! I was watching the action on the pitch but was distracted by her stellar performance.
Okay, back to soccer. Right after we hear from Zach Duncan. He appears to have a nomination for the Abs Club from Fort Wayne. Judges, is this allowed? After a closer look, the judges have allowed it. Welcome to the Club, Clown Shoes.
Here we have a chill Adams chipping the ball down the pitch. It’s after halftime, Taylor Davila has been subbed in, and my blood pressure is back within normal range. I loved seeing so many of the younger players get the start, but it was kinda like when you decide maybe you don’t need a babysitter and can just leave the oldest child in charge because you’re just going out for an hour and it’s not like they’re going to burn down the house but then you skip dessert and head home early because maybe they did burn down the house? Taylor skipped dessert to check on the kids.
The Akale-Lebron James match-up all night was captivating. This series was especially wonderful because you already know Akale out-danced him.
Some altercation went unnoticed by the ref and Davila the Meaner and Troutman were quick to point it out. Color me impressed by Troutman’s tenacity. Even Davila took notice. Gotta hold those refs accountable while you’re staying warm. (It’s ok, those line judges don’t carry cards, right?)
No notes.
Some notes. But mainly, wait for it.
Taylor resumes management of the ball and the match.
Coach Simon is asking why more people aren’t taking pictures of the sunset. I got you, Coach.
Finally, Manny’s cross finds Ray for a gooooooooal!
And my camera finds Ray and friends for three hundred piiiiiiiictures!
We are barely done celebrating when Jansen’s free kick finds Kyle Adams’ front curls for another goal.
Shared celebration Gallery
Fort Wayne loses their composure and I can’t even remember what they did but the best part regardless was a) Jordan Rivers’ reaction of “you can’t do that” and b) Sting’s response of biting his knuckles (they have knees, so bees probably have knuckles)
Fans were excited to see Cameron Duke make an appearance for the last five. Good to see you, guy!
And that’s a wrap! No late fights in our goal (yes there were, see below) so it’s time to go to post-match media! If there had been a fight, it would have been hilarious because the stadium would have been celebrating with a purple light show and lots of cheering. It would have made for some great (if blurry) pictures.
